Oh LaRouche, you silly sod

I didn’t think it was possible, but the LaRouchies on campus have gotten crazier. For the uninitiated, the LaRouchies are members of the LaRouche Youth Movement, and followers of Lyndon LaRouche, who’s been running unsuccessfully for president of the United States for the past 500 years. Both LaRouche and his movement (some may call it a political cult; I may agree) are known for their rather…er, odd views on things, especially the economy. For instance, nearly everything wrong with the United States today is in some way a direct result of the nefarious actions of some long-dead British author or perhaps group of authors. I’m dead serious.

Anyways, the LaRouche Youth Movement is known for its presence on college campuses where lunacy isn’t yet banned. They’ll often have a little bench set up with posters on the side invariably calling for vice president Dick Cheney to be impeached. Or for him to receive a blow-job. Again, I’m serious here. Cheney’s also the anti-Christ. Or the devil. They also appear to dislike Al Gore and anything regarding global warming. As a result, I’m really not sure where to put them on a political spectrum. I suppose LaRouche might classify as a paleoconservative, but I’m not certain.

Read up more about LaRouche and his cult–er, movement–and you can see just how out there they can be. You may even ask, “How could they be worse?” I’ll tell you: by blaming the apparent death of the US economy on a conspiracy headed by MySpace, Facebook, and violent video games. And the cult of Wikipedia. Uh, what?

Most of the information you learn about LaRouche comes from the pamphlets the youth movement hands out. Talking directly to members of the youth movement is a huge waste of time, as they know little to nothing about what they’re supposed to believe. I struck one guy up for a lively debate and the conversation went something like this:

LaRouchie: So…do you think, uh, Cheney should, uh, get a blow-job? Cuz, uh, I think he should, you know?
Me: Er, I guess. I dunno.
LaRouchie: He needs one, dude. Then we could, like, uh, impeach him, and stuff. Maybe get him to, you know, give Bush a blow-job?
Me: Right. I gotta go watch some paint dry, mmkay?
LaRouchie: Uh, sure. Here’s a pamphlet. Don’t light it on fire like the last guy, you know?

I may have taken a little creative liberty with that, but I swear its not far from the actual conversation. There was another time where I was trying to avoid them and one guy said to me, “Hey, you’re American, why are you rushin’?” Say it out loud and you’ll groan. Anyways, the most recent bit the LaRouchies are on is about the Internet, specifically the blogosphere. It’s evil and corrupting everyone. Well, yes, everyone already knows that, but I don’t understand where he gets the idea that it killed the US economy. Or how H. G. Wells fits in (yes, he’s mentioned at some point in the pamphlet). Honestly, unless you’re already prone to believing far-out conspiracy theories, I don’t see how someone could read what LaRouche writes and thinks it makes any sort of sense. I’d call him Loony Lyndon if that didn’t make me sound like a ultra-conservative blogger talking about moonbats or some such.

I was sorely tempted to ask the LaRouchies handing out these pamphlets (entitled “Is the Devil in your laptop?”…for reals, you can read it here) how many of them had MySpace or Facebook accounts, but considering how the last encounter with a LaRouchie went, I decided against it. I didn’t want to get infected with crazy.

EDIT: If you want to see the dangerous side of LaRouche and his organization, you may be interested in this Washington Post article. Quite informative, and quite worrying.

  • http://rationreality.com bagel of everything

    You can impeach a vice president? Seriously?

    I am now educated.

  • http://codylogan.net Cody

    I wasn’t aware that was possible, either, but apparently it’s become all the rage in certain circles. I guess they figure Bush is a figurehead, so impeaching him won’t do anything…? I dunno. Either way, this administration is going out in less than a year, so I don’t see what the big rush is to get rid of it now.

December 2007
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